Working On How I Work

By Eveline Beumkes Since I first invited Sister Jina to come to Holland, after I moved from Plum Village to Amsterdam, my life has been filled with "organizing sangha" activities. I have finally found something that I can do with all my heart, without the least bit of resistance. I wouldn't want to do anything else. But I have not managed (yet?) to do whatever presents itself in a lighthearted way. There are always so many things to do, and they all seem equally urgent. The pile on my desk never gets down to the point where I feel it is manageable. It often burdens me. I feel no space. I often feel I am not in touch enough with the present and the joy that it contains. I know how incongruent this is with the work I am doing.

So this is what I have to look deeply into—the way I work. It has to do with a lot of other things—how I do (or do not) deal with my feelings, the need to manifest myself in some way, the wish to please others, and so on.

Eveline Beumkes is a sangha builder in Amsterdam, Holland.

PDF of this article