The True Dharma Talk

By Ethan Pollock mb60-True1

Maybe I should be able to relate to people in other age groups as easily as to people my own age (mid-twenties). However, I have discovered that the Wake Up London Sangha has allowed me to open up in many new ways. Meditating with the Heart of London showed me the power of collective practice—the peace and solidity that comes when you practice with forty other people in the heart of a chaotic city. But I think it was joining the Wake Up London Sangha that really began to show me the true power of belonging to a Sangha.

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After the Wake Up meetings, I began to overcome my shyness and stay behind to chat with the other members. In the meals we shared, I discovered a new way to be with others—peacefully and calmly. The need to constantly make jokes, correct others, and debate opinions relaxed because of our afternoon of mindfulness, and we could just enjoy each other in a very simple way. It felt very beautiful.

As I have gotten to know the other Wake Up Londoners, I’ve also been able to learn from them—not just from their insights in our sharing sessions, but from how they are: the energy they put into being truly present, being kind, and creating beautiful spaces for mindfulness to flourish. To see how other people my age are living the practice—that feels like the true Dharma talk!

Maybe the most powerful part of our afternoons has been the sharing. I find sharing difficult. To explain how difficult, let me tell you that the first few times I came to the Sangha I even lied about my “weather report.” I still find it difficult to let people know if I’m having a bad day. However, our Wake Up group is quite small, and the intimacy of our Sangha makes it much easier for me to share from the heart. The atmosphere of peace and openness gave me the courage to share for the very first time. I was very fearful, and I still get nervous every time I share. It takes a lot of plucking up of courage before I bow in. I’m often surprised to hear emotion in my voice over what I had thought would be an easy sharing. Afterwards I feel the adrenaline coursing round my body. It takes a lot of breathing to calm my body down again.

To begin opening up has been a very powerful part of this practice for me. I had learnt from my family to keep my difficulties inside, to be self-contained. During my childhood I was bullied for many years and I still carry around that fear of attack, the fear that inside there is something unlovable or ridiculous, the feeling that to be accepted I need to hide certain parts of myself from others.

Every time I share from the heart I feel vulnerable, but to be listened to in kindness and acceptance has been very healing for me. I know I have developed much more openness, thanks to this practice. Every time another Sangha member shares from the heart I am humbled by their courage and generosity. I learn so much from them, am consoled at shared challenges, and encouraged by their attitudes and practice. It reminds me constantly what a precious gift it is to have an open heart, and how much we can benefit from each other when we are able to communicate freely, with love and understanding.

My heartfelt thanks to all my friends at Wake Up London who have created this beautiful space, and to the people in the Heart of London Sangha who make our meetings possible.

mb60-True2Ethan Pollock is part of the Wake Up London Sangha and has been practising mindfulness for two years. He is an artist, which is a job that makes minimum wage look like the wealth of King Midas, but he is pretty sure Midas didn’t have as much fun. He also enjoys reading too many books.

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